22 September 2004
"Only in San Francisco" is a phrase I am getting tired of hearing
"Only in San Francisco" is the sardonic response most people give when faced with something that in any sane city would be considered a crime or at the very least something to be heavily frowned upon, but not in San Francisco.

Case in point: the "Nude Yoga Guy" story in today's San Francisco Chronicle. Here is an adult male who decides that to advertise his nude lifestyle (and new book!) to do nude Yoga in a public place (a very public place; Fishermans Wharf) and is arrested for creating a "public nuisance"...not being nude ( in California it's not illegal to be nude in public. For someone to be guilty of "indecent exposure" the exposure must be willfull and sexual in nature). The City Attorney's Office in all its wisdom decides to not prosecute on the public nuisance charge since "...[b]eing naked in San Francisco is not a crime...unless the gentleman had lewd conduct or was obstructing traffic.'' Well thank goodness he wasn't obstructing traffic! Heaven forbid that someone might be delayed on their way to purchase an iced coffee and a t-shirt while avoiding looking at this mans "junk". Thank goodness he wasn't being lewd in exposing the central area of a man's sexuality on the street to the men, women and children passing by, I mean, it's only his sexual organ so therefore it has nothing to do with sex right? Or am I not taking a holistic and elightened approach to modern sexuality?

Another "Only in San Francisco" event revolves around the same basic concept. Recently (2002) San Francisco passed it's very first law banning public urination and defecation...after months of haggling and arguements over how it would impact the homeless and others. Now, don't get me wrong, I understand that when you gotta go you gotta go. But the City did install all those spiffy new JCDecoux toilets and hands out tokens to the homeless (everyone else has to pay) for their use. I understand that certain people may have medical conditions that, shall we say, force them to relieve themselves in public. Any reasonable person understands these points. But why would it take months to decide that urinating and defecating in public is a "bad thing?"...Only in San Francisco.

Our final "Only in San Francisco" moment for today involves Supervisor Alito-Pier, who wants to ban smoking in all outdoor recreation areas controlled by the City. Her complaint is that there are cigarette butts all over the place and she wants that to end. The proposal calls for a fine of at least $250 per offense.

The fine for public nudity: $0
The minimum fine for urinating or defecating in public: $50
The minimum fine for smoking a cigarette in a City park: $250

Only in San Francisco
A Republican in San Francisco (Yes, he's under deep cover) relays his tales of interest... ...ok, "interest" is a strong and subjective word but you get the point.
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Location: San Francisco, California, United States

I shall know but one country. The ends I aim at shall be my country's, my God's and Truth's. I was born an American; I live an American; and I shall die an American. -Daniel Webster (1782-1852)

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